Visibility Through Self Care

By Karen Kenney

In the work that I do as a Spiritual Mentor and Yoga Teacher, there’s a common issue that arises again and again with my female clients (especially moms).  It’s a lingering sense and sometimes desperate fear that they’ve somehow “lost” themselves. That after so many years of doing for everyone else and trying to be what the rest of the world wants, (and often demands) them to be, they start to feel not only tired, frustrated and resentful, but also unrecognizable and in some cases “invisible”, even to themselves. They look in the mirror and wonder, “Who the hell is this unfamiliar woman looking back at me? Where did the real me go?”

I make it a point to remind my clients that before they were anyone’s daughter, sibling, girlfriend/partner/wife, employee, boss, or Mom – they belonged singularly to the Divine. That although in their daily lives, they’re like an actress that must wear many different costumes and perform a variety of changing roles – the ESSENCE of who they really are is the unchangeable Spirit. That despite these earthly, man-made illusions of separation, bodies and labels – they are, and will always remain, an expression of eternal love! And not that wishy-washy human kind of love – this is the bona-fide real-deal kind of LOVE - that is an extension of Source itself.

Despite these earthly, man-made illusions of separation, bodies and labels – you are, and will always remain, an expression of eternal love.
— Karen Kenney

In this culture of text messages, instant gratification, and the glorification of busy – it can so hard to take the time to slow down and “remember” this unchanging truth. This world can pull us in so many different directions at once, that people (especially girls and women) can end up feeling picked apart and “dismembered." As if it’s their sad, unfortunate fate to live in a constant state of division - with everyone breaking off a piece of them until all that is left is a weird, little, pallid piece that no longer resembles the original whole.

Here’s the thing, if you want to “re-member” who you are, and to whom you truly belong, if you want to “put yourself back together” and reclaim the powerful Self who was made to thrive and shine – the one who existed before your parents, your peers or the public tried to tell you who you are and how you’re going to be – then you must commit to taking the time to slow down, be still, and practice Self Care.

A Course in Miracles tells us that: “you were created to create the good, the beautiful and the holy.” So, if all you feel like you’ve been thinking, feeling, and creating lately is the bad, the ugly, and the crappy – then maybe it’s high time to knock it off and choose another way. Ha! Deep within you, there’s a part of your mind that’s always in communion with the Beloved. There’s a wicked smart part of you that is tapped directly into the brilliance of Divine Intelligence. But you can’t access this place if you don’t create the environment in which you can have the capacity to discover and receive it.  Everyone has different ways of approaching Self Care and I encourage you to explore what works for you. Maybe it’s taking long walks, reading good books, journaling, or soaking in a tub. Maybe it’s practicing yoga, saying morning/evening prayers or doing daily meditation. You can create a special day (like Sunday) where you turn off your phone, shut down social media, and spend some time doing Face-to-Face instead.

One of the fantastic gifts of practicing Self Care is that you’re making a conscious choice for Love. A great way to experience this is to go away on some kind of retreat. Maybe it’s a day-long workshop, or traveling to one of the well-known Spiritual Centers or maybe you can find something local in your own back yard. On retreat, you can allow the everyday habitual ways of negative thinking and being to fall away – so that what remains is your own, deep Spiritual wisdom. This is super helpful because it gives you a chance to break up the usual ole’ patterned thinking and behavior, and not only puts you in touch with some wonderful external teachers but gives you a chance to access the most important teacher of all – the one that resides within your own heart and mind. The Inner Teacher is always there beneath the layers of our nonsense and bullshit – and when we give ourselves a change of company, community and scenery – then the magical and miraculous can happen.

Slowly but surely, you start to find yourself again. You realize that like in the children’s story of Hansel & Gretel, the Divine has been leaving you a trail of clues all along and before you know it you will be Home.   


Interested in re-membering yourself? Join Karen Kenney and our other amazing contributing teachers at our WAKE UP YOUR SOUL Retreat March 31st-April 2nd!


KAREN KENNEY is a writer, speaker, spiritual mentor, and certified Gateless Writing teacher - she’s been described as “a fierce fairy godmother.”  Her classes, workshops, YTT modules and mentoring sessions are deeply rooted in this one simple A Course In Miracle principle: "Teach Only Love – For That is What You Are."